So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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