Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
