If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
