it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
