Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We need to get me chipped asap
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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