every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
