its not stalking. its research.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
