That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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