hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
did i walk over a car last night?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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