I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
