can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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