How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
