I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
