Got a toothbrush?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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