Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
