I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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