Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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