Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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