so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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