shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
