Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize