Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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