How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
