My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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