I'm jealous of your bromance
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
