She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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