therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She said her name was "party"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
