i need an iv and a liver transplant
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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