Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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