distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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