did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
