Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
