I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
