no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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