Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
