Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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