you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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