Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
