oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
