it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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