I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize