That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hippo gnu deer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
