Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
