Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There are leaves in my underwear?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
