ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
