I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
