sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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