the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
