pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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