I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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