You work out of a Hotel?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
