How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
