I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize