What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
