You really coming over, don't trick.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
