exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
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whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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