She's JV to your varsity
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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