he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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