Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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