He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
