the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
