my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
