If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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